The Inner Mental Noise

Pay Attention to Your Inner Conversation With Yourself

You've probably observed your own thought processes from time to time, and maybe you've also experienced the feeling that you're having a kind of conversation with yourself. Especially when something hits us hard or occupies us a lot, there can be a kind of inner conversation, a dialog we have with ourselves. It can be quite an overwhelming experience to witness the chatter going on in our heads. It's not always constructive and it can be hard to stop. A lot of mental noise can lead to us not being very present right where we are. The question arises, how can I get out of my thoughts and how can I find peace of mind?

Becoming aware of all the mental noise, the sometimes self-critical, self-blaming, judgmental and analytical speech that can go on in our minds, is a very important step on our path to greater inner peace. The constant mental noise is actually one of our most energy-consuming and exhausting habits. We often find it difficult to experience a situation and be in it without immediately judging, analyzing or commenting on our experience. This means that we are less present and in the long run it can increase stress and reduce well-being.

I find it useful to distinguish between two types of mental noise: 

The first type is the daily inner noise, which consists mostly of random, superficial thoughts about small everyday things and events. Something I've heard or seen, something I need to remember, make decisions about or act on. The more complex our everyday life is, the more tasks and appointments we have to remember. This increases our risk of everyday mental noise.

The second type of mental rumination is the repetitive and more serious rumination about situations, people, feelings or decisions that are still unresolved in your life. It could be something unpleasant someone has said or done to you. Thoughts about these situations pop up again and again and are typically associated with heavier emotions. These unresolved emotions reinforce our mental rumination and keep it alive. There is a difference between type 1 and type 2 and therefore, the two types of mental noise often need to be treated slightly differently. But first, let's look at what's important in general about both types of rumination.

Acceptance

For both types of mental overactivity: When you discover that you are mentally and emotionally involved in ruminating, analyzing, judging, dreaming, discussing or interpreting a situation, it's best to accept it right away. Accept that you are currently witnessing these somehow unconscious aspects of the mind and be happy that you've been able to become consciously aware of it so quickly. It's actually a good step in the right direction that you recognize it when it happens. When you notice the inner chatter going on, it's important to observe it with a compassionate smile. That's how our mind is. It just wants to wander and think a lot of thoughts and there may be a reason why something occupies us so much and often.

Mental everyday noise

Let's start with the more superficial and distracted rumination. You might be working on a task and find your mind wandering and circling around insignificant and basically unimportant things or things you need to solve or do later. Then you can easily stop, smile and say to yourself something like: "Never mind, it doesn't matter right now, I'll do it later" or "I'll make a note so I remember it later" and then you'll be able to take a few deep breaths and with your exhalation you'll be able to let go of your thoughts relatively quickly and concentrate fully on the task at hand. We can relatively easily let go of these more mundane forms of speculation simply by noticing them, observing them and then making an active choice to shift focus, postpone the topic and let go of the thoughts.

Rumination and inner stories

More complicated is the complaining, brooding or angry type of rumination, the negative inner voice, often accompanied by inner images. It is the repetitive, emotional form of inner narrative that deals with difficult experiences or life themes. We may find ourselves dwelling on these inner stories over and over again, telling them on occasion, perhaps even in conversation with people we know. As with the first type of inner conversation, it's important that you become aware of the brooding rumination as soon as possible. Of course, it takes more to identify these deeper emotional thought spirals. Most often, we recognize them when they've haunted us so often that we're getting tired of them and we want a change. When you spot such a repetitive thought pattern, it's important to accept and appreciate that the narrative you've observed exists for some reason and keeps coming up to tell you something about yourself. 

Feel your body and breath

Once you've recognized that your thoughts may be deeper and also accompanied by feelings in your body, I recommend that you notice how your body feels while you have these repetitive thoughts and internal images. Allow yourself to become aware of what feelings and body sensations accompany your thoughts. You may feel muscle tension, pain, discomfort, nervousness or emotions such as anger, anxiety, guilt, shame or sadness. These feelings can

help to perpetuate your repetitive thoughts. However, if you can sense that these feelings are so powerful that you don't want to feel them alone, it will be quite important to find a psychologist/therapist to support you in the process.

If you want to explore what you experience in your body when your mind is racing in familiar directions, bring your attention to your body and consciously breathe into these body sensations or feelings. Take time to be present with your breathing and with the feeling you are experiencing. When you allow yourself to breathe deeply and be consciously present with the feeling and breathing, after a while you will typically find that the strength of the mind game and the underlying emotions diminish and a sense of relief settles in your body and mind. You begin to gain a greater insight into what's going on emotionally behind the thoughts repeating in your head. Endless internal arguments with an ex-boyfriend may be driven by anger, jealousy or pain. Constant ruminations about your finances may be driven by a deep-rooted fear of failure or a sense of uncertainty, insecurity and lack.

Every time you become aware of thoughts running on autopilot, you have the opportunity to stop, observe your thoughts, breathe deeply and feel sensations and emotions in your body. Gradually, you become friends with the feelings you were running away from before. Becoming self-aware in this way will gradually reduce the strength of the emotional narratives. As the strength of the emotions decreases, there is also less ruminating in your head about the subject. It generally becomes easier to breathe calmly and deeply and the deep breathing naturally brings you back to yourself and to a more peaceful state.

However, as mentioned before, you may find that the emotions you encounter are too intense for you to face them alone. In that case, you may need to consider seeking help from an experienced therapist. This may be the case if difficult childhood experiences or traumatic events are part of your history. In that case, it's important that you seek professional help to assist you in the healing process.

Here is a guided audio exercise that you can use if a topic is on your mind frequently and gives you both a lot of thoughts and also difficult emotions .